Posts Tagged ‘Dan Maimone’

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Probably not suppose to talk about this

June 24, 2011

Unsure if there is a statue of limitations on non-disclosure agreements, regardless this post will be about my time spent working with Aerosmith.

My first job out of college was with the band Aerosmith, technically my pay stub said “Vindaloo Music” a company created by the band to handle their personal affairs.   I was not very good at being a personal assistant, this was made clear by my  employer, Steven Tyler, who provided frequent unabashed “performance reviews”.  You’d think I would have learned some coping mechanisms but after two years of these “reviews” the only thing I developed was a speech impediment – to this day when I hear “Sweet Emotion” I begin to stutter and sweat.

In general people seem amused when I mention my former employer so I have dutifully honed a full catalog of humorous Steven Tyler horror stories.  Some of these stories are embellished, others never happened (at least not to me), they happened to past assistants – but they sounded so horrible, so plausible – It could have easily been me – especially since Steven hated me, I mean he really fucking hated me, he told everyone this, sometimes in my presence.

After two years of service I looked for a job which did not involve picking up dry cleaning, holding on to contra-band at security checkpoints or being told that a retarded monkey could do my job.

I was hired as the Event Manager at the Nassau Coliseum in NY.

Want to take a guess as to what my first event was?

an awkward moment, featured in a national magazine

This awkward photo was captured backstage and printed in Pollstar Magazine.  Can you not see the burning hate in his eyes for me?

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chronicles of the fall*

March 19, 2009

Blog, a vulgar, overused word used to give legitimacy to the shallow opinions of hacks and amateurs who seem to be permanently stuck in first draft hell. Looking in the archives one would expect someone who has been at it for years to slowly hone their craft and improve their writing and photographs, since it’s usually safe to assume that if someone does something long enough, he or she will eventually not suck at it.

Be daring, be different, be impractical, be anything that will assert integrity of purpose and imaginative vision against the play-it-safers, the creatures of the commonplace, the slaves of the ordinary.

Join me as I re-create and often times over-exaggerate select stories from my life, frustratingly omitting most of the good stuff and all of the names.

*The following is 85% a true story