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Tripping the silent alarm

October 15, 2010

Sometime in the past eighteen months this really happened to me.

It began when I made the all too common error of  mistaking  professional kindness for flirting, signals get misread – it happens.  This particular girl worked at a bank.  Ya I know bank tellers are suppose to be nice, it’s their job… I get that.   This time was different, she went just a bit further than common pleasantries but I suppose if I were better at reading things than I would have less to write about.

Back to the teller, this was not my bank, but circumstance led me here two times – the first time she assisted me and made a considerable amount of small talk about my out of state license, asking questions and the like – she seemed interested in a genuine unhurried way.  The second time I am convinced that she saw me in line and purposefully opened her window (which was preciously closed) just as I got to the front. She remembered me and referenced our conversation.

I had no business going to the bank a third time but I did have a plan so I traded my friend $100 dollars cash for a personal check and off I went.  I entered the bank and tried my best to maneuver myself in line so that she could be my teller… each time I neared the front it looked bleak so I pretended to jot numbers down on my faux bank slip and excused myself from the line….. I even faked a phone call and stepped out of line to be courteous. This went on for a bit.

Finally, we were lined up… I approached her and handed her the check along with my drivers license….  same small talk… and as she gave me the $100 I sprung my plan into action.

I slipped her a note which I had fashioned just for this occasion.  Her eyes went big, she nervously looked to the left and right… all sound stopped in the bank.  She quickly and rather shamefully slid the note back and whispered (which contained as much shock as a whisper is able) “You can’t give me a note”.

Turns out what I did was actually illegal, big deal illegal, in this state sliding a bank teller a note is a felony (attempted bank robbery or something)  Did you know this?   I didn’t…  Maybe they should post a sign or something

Anyway this is the note:

….Fail!

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