Southern TSA

September 22, 2009

Things in the south are …different.  The people are inflexibly obsessed with “being southern” and that self-adoration manifests itself in completely unpredictable ways.

(Using minimal exaggeration) Flying out of Myrtle Beach, I and the rest of the line, overhead a grossly unprofessional casual conversation between two TSA workers.

It went like this:  “Hey Earl, you stayin’ outta trouble?”

Earl (ok, I forgot his actual name) replied, “Nnnnnnope, what kinda fun woooood that beee”

(both laugh, a collection of missing or badly stained teeth are shamelessly displayed)

Earl, now running a wand over an older woman who failed the initial detector, asked probing questions such as “You ain’t hidin’ no bombs in there , are ya?”

Is it just a line in a movie, or are you really not suppose to say bomb in an airport?  Regardless, I am pretty sure that TSA officials aren’t supposed to be joking about it.  In the government’s defense I can see how not participating in that behavoir may seem so common that it was excluded from the normal training manuals, but if that is the case then perhaps its time for a second, more obvious, revision to be drafted.

While I did not particularly safe from hijackers at this airport I did feel like I was down at the Wal-mart, which is in a way comforting, to some, I ‘spose.

Lastly for any terrorists who may be reading my blog  and looking for a soft target may I suggest the Myrtle Beach International Airport (look for Earl’s line).


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