Hey Boston, I love ya, but…

July 19, 2009

This past Friday a relatively small group of Boston Red Sox fans, apparently fueled by a few too many Miller Lite’s, put on a very public and very classless display of human behavior.

My girl was visiting from home, we spent the day sightseeing – both of us remarked on numerous occasions how amazing Chicago was.  The architecture,  the people, the food.   We agreed that Chicago seemed to embody the best parts of  the other cities we had similarly enjoyed.

After dining in Old Town, a particularly quiet and upscale section of the city.  As if cued up by the gods of “Ya DOOD” the peaceful cobblestone streets of upscale Chicago were transformed into the dirty alleyways that surround Fenway Park.

A tourist trolley was making its way slowly up the street, in the rear of the car were a dozen or so of the most obnoxious embarrassments the Boston area can claim as their own.  Grown men, dressed in Red Sox paraphernalia, (probably) drinking domestic light beer out of  foam cousy covered cans, were loudly and unintelligently  shouting things like “Ya Dood, da Red Sox Rule!” “Dude, Red Sox Nation Dude” and things of this nature.

One particularly clever idiot noticed a Boston Market restaurant and “Dude, Look BOSTON Mah-ket” “DUDE, BOSTON MAH-KET RULES”

They continued to shame themselves and the entire New England region by sexually harassing a girl in a skirt (who just happened to be my date) “Hey Honey , Lift Up Your Sk-aht!”

Does that shit work for them in Revere?

Generally, I don’t hold sexual predators or public drunks in very high regard.  Similarly I don’t have a whole lot of respect for do-nothing / knowitallall, loud-mouthed sports fanatics (…and don’t get started on how harsh and uneducated the Boston accent can sound).  However, the fact that this particular group of hooligans so loudly and proudly claimed their allegiance to “Bohston” were so unashamed of how much poorly they represented their hometown… or humanity.

Who knows how many other Chicago streets were similarly disrupted and inflicted – how many other girls were harrassed or even pawed.  I am now seriously considering just saying that I moved here from Maine.

Guys, if you simply must pay a shit-ton of money and travel to another city with your friends to watch other men in tight pants play a game as you scheme ways to cheat on your wife at home or otherwise drown out what a complete miserable failure your real life has actually become – please just go to Cincinnati,  leave my town alone.


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